Some day our bodies
Will become one with the earth 
So we can regrow 
As trees or flowers
Or blades of grass
On a mountainside
Right next to one another

Swaying in the breeze. 

I feel like a cheap souvenir
that you collected on your travels,
you can pick one up anywhere.

LH 2022

 

You held onto my heart for years
like a security blanket
it must have brought you comfort,
hauled around until I fell apart
then you outgrew me 

LH 2022

There will be a memorial service

I didn't expect

The nurses

And countless other
Grieving mothers
My anguish mirrored
In the faces of strangers

I didn't expect
A tiny white coffin
Carried from a hearse
To a freshly dug hole in
The ground
I was horrified

I didn't expect
My legs to hold
The heavy burden I carried
On that wet November morning
I didn't expect
This pain

I didn't expect the anger
That followed
Jealous of every
Expectant mother
The silence from others
Reluctant to comfort

I didn't expect
The sadness, that followed
I just couldn't speak
Grief is hard to swallow
I thought I would shatter
Into a million pieces

I didn't expect
In that little room
Our world to cave in
When she parted her lips
And out those words slipped
I'm sorry there's
No heart beat. 

LH 2022

Everytime

Time is unkind
To me

It stretches
Then catapults me back
when I least expect

A song or a scent
Takes me back
When I try so hard
To forget the past

Time moved on
When I wanted it
To stand still

Each second now
An eternity
To live

Time heals
Time flies
Don't waste your time

But you invade my mind
There's a reason why....

I think you feel the same as I.

LH 2022

Middle of nowhere

We walked together
But apart
Silence between us
"I'm so sad" I whispered
But my anguish
Shook the trees
And the Autumn leaves
Drifted to the forest floor
I understood their loss

Still...I thought it was beautiful

LH 2022

How could I forget?

You said I was breath-taking
I thought I was just breaking .

LH 2016

The neighbours cat

The cat with two names

regards me intently

with his huge reflective orbs

He sees the invisible me

the one others don't see

I have become his shadow 

It's something that neither of us understand

Or want to

The sadness will try to settle in his bones

like the longest winter day

stretching on forever

His dark brown fur 

flecked with grey

comforts me with every stroke

We are alike

timid with claws

He doesn't belong to me

he is someone else's, 

though he thinks he is not

And so he'll leave someday

when he thinks I no longer need him

He'll stretch and look back once

And I'll never see him

Again. 

LH 2016 

The Move

Again this morning
My mind woke me
With you nearby
Like you belonged
You've inhabited my head
Like a piece of cherished furniture
In a deserted house
I want to run my hand
Over your edges
So the corners feel smooth to the touch
I have a place for you
If you want to reside.

LH

Detached

She left me after you departed
A stow away, who knew?
I was numb after the wailing
Stopped

Four falls have passed
Three candles lit and blown out
When I hear her cry at night
I'm unfolding

I've lost my threading
I've become someone else
I was another someone else
Then

LH 2015