There will be a memorial service

I didn't expect

The nurses

And countless other
Grieving mothers
My anguish mirrored
In the faces of strangers

I didn't expect
A tiny white coffin
Carried from a hearse
To a freshly dug hole in
The ground
I was horrified

I didn't expect
My legs to hold
The heavy burden I carried
On that wet November morning
I didn't expect
This pain

I didn't expect the anger
That followed
Jealous of every
Expectant mother
The silence from others
Reluctant to comfort

I didn't expect
The sadness, that followed
I just couldn't speak
Grief is hard to swallow
I thought I would shatter
Into a million pieces

I didn't expect
In that little room
Our world to cave in
When she parted her lips
And out those words slipped
I'm sorry there's
No heart beat. 

LH 2022

Everytime

Time is unkind
To me

It stretches
Then catapults me back
when I least expect

A song or a scent
Takes me back
When I try so hard
To forget the past

Time moved on
When I wanted it
To stand still

Each second now
An eternity
To live

Time heals
Time flies
Don't waste your time

But you invade my mind
There's a reason why....

I think you feel the same as I.

LH 2022

Middle of nowhere

We walked together
But apart
Silence between us
"I'm so sad" I whispered
But my anguish
Shook the trees
And the Autumn leaves
Drifted to the forest floor
I understood their loss

Still...I thought it was beautiful

LH 2022

How could I forget?

You said I was breath-taking
I thought I was just breaking .

LH 2016

The neighbours cat

The cat with two names

regards me intently

with his huge reflective orbs

He sees the invisible me

the one others don't see

I have become his shadow 

It's something that neither of us understand

Or want to

The sadness will try to settle in his bones

like the longest winter day

stretching on forever

His dark brown fur 

flecked with grey

comforts me with every stroke

We are alike

timid with claws

He doesn't belong to me

he is someone else's, 

though he thinks he is not

And so he'll leave someday

when he thinks I no longer need him

He'll stretch and look back once

And I'll never see him

Again. 

LH 2016 

The Move

Again this morning
My mind woke me
With you nearby
Like you belonged
You've inhabited my head
Like a piece of cherished furniture
In a deserted house
I want to run my hand
Over your edges
So the corners feel smooth to the touch
I have a place for you
If you want to reside.

LH

Detached

She left me after you departed
A stow away, who knew?
I was numb after the wailing
Stopped

Four falls have passed
Three candles lit and blown out
When I hear her cry at night
I'm unfolding

I've lost my threading
I've become someone else
I was another someone else
Then

LH 2015

The Baby Gull

I spied you near the waters' edge
just after the rain ceased

   On tawny stilts
    with webbed feet

         Crunching shards of mussel underneath

I watched you flaunt your mottled down
soft hues amidst the steely grey

    You paced the dust
     with gall and brass

          And whistled softly as you flew away


2015 © LH

Unfinished Business

It does not sit easy with me
across from you, in situ
questioning your morals
when I confess
my own are questionable

You broke the law
I bent rules, shattered promises

crusher of hearts
will punishment cleanse your soul?
I punish myself
but I keep re-offending

I blame my mother
It's in my DNA, she did 15 years
with the same partner in crime
did your father do time?

The pleasure of the pursuit
and that feeling
oh the feeling of satisfaction
when you've seized what you desire
at any cost

We are in collusion
you're locked behind bars
yet I'm the one that feels trapped

LH 2015

Things only we know

Talking
was something we did for hours
late into the night, often by the fire
with our lips pressed hard against glowing skin
swapping tongues and stories from the waist
eyes locked together as we slid into place

I recall
your smiling mouth as I gasped
I listened as you whispered words meant only for my ears
and I learned something new about you
words were something you knew how to use
perfectly

you avoided
those three words
but you had my show of hands all along
If I don't call out to you I'm afraid I'll lose my voice
and yours will fade away
I refuse to believe you have nothing left to say

LH 2015